This thread is somewhat offensive (to some :p)

[Uriah Heep]

The rumbling noises you are hearing overhead aren't thunder...
It's Elvis, kicking Michael's ass for marrying his daughter!!

[Uriah Heep]

A couple had been engaged for quite a while, and decided instead of waiting on their families to quit fighting over weddings and locations, they would just go down and get married, a semi elopement

On the way to the preachers, they had a car wreck, and sadly, both were killed in the crash.

Sitting outside the pearly gates, waiting on ST Peter, they were talking among themselves about marriage. St Peter comes, to let them in, and they ask, "can we get married here in Heaven? Is that possible?" St Peter replies that he isnt sure, but he will find out, and leaves them sitting.

Three months go by, the couple sitting and waiting, of course, in the afterlife, time has no real meaning, so there was no real hurry. But the couple began to have doubts about marriage in Heaven, so when St Peter finally returned, he said, "yes, I just now found out, you can get married here!"

the couple said fine, but one more question, "If it doesn't work out, is there divorce here also? I mean, eternity is a loooong time"

St Peter threw his clipboard down in disgust, kicked it, grumbled, griped, swatted at the air with his hands. "What's wrong?" asked the couple...To which St Peter replied....








IT TOOK ME THREE DANGED MONTHS TO FIND A PRIEST IN THIS PLACE, WHAT ARE THE ODDS I WILL EVER FIND A LAWYER HERE?!?!?!

[Uriah Heep]

I'll post up some other PRAH entertainment time jokes as I remember em

[Uriah Heep]

Why is a job like a septic tank??










Cause the big chunks always rise to the top!!!!

[DevilsOwn]

if it's material ya need,check this place , and most particularly any posting from Nutz


and lots of Texas wimmins jokes!!

[DevilsOwn]

Subject: Fw: WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS


1.. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan'
all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to
copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
season:I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own
mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win,
I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: "He treats us like men.. He lets us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody
in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going
to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and
then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would
anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years,
not Princeton ."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, when asked why he keeps
a color photo of himself above his locker: That's so when I forget how
to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up six o'clock in the
morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's
expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature even in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,
'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach,
I don't know and I don't care."

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like
you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips, when asked by Bob
Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:
"Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye.."

15. Bobby Bowden , Florida States football coach, when asked why he didn't
invest in condos, said, "I am too old to use them now."

[Uriah Heep]

LMAO

I love it!

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